Of Unsaid Words

We all have seen it before. A man- or woman- enters into a room and he immediately is the center of attraction. Suddenly, you feel inferior. Infact, intimidated. All the ladies want to be with him. All the men want to be him. The crème de la crème. The King.

Well, you too-yes YOU, can have this effect. Believe me. Matter of fact, I will be telling you how. Before I do this, however, a little background. Creating a Powerful- no, a Smashing first impression is an art. It’s called personal branding. It has three parts; Behavior, Appearance, Communication.. and how the three can be used to fantastic effect. 

So- back to our man.. What did/does he do that you don’t? Listen close now. Our man has learnt-very well- and used-to amazing effect-, the combination of behavior and appearance. Note that he commands attention, even before he has opened his mouth. You want to know him. You want to say yes to whatever he will ask. And he has not uttered a word. Phenomenal.

You will have noticed his body language. All of us walk. But there’s a difference, and a very big one actually, in the kind of walk we walk. There’s what I call, the power walk. A walk that oozes power. A walk that says I’m a winner. I’m totally used to dominate. And I do not need your validation. A walk that says I have arrived-literally or otherwise- and ya’ll WILL sit up and take note. This is not to be confused with offish, boyish-I dare say even stupid-swagger. This is confidence in motion. There’s a clear difference, and you’re best advised to know it.

Secondly, you will have noticed his body posture. It is supreme. Class. Chest out, shoulders straight-not hunched. Arms straight. Back rim-rod straight. And this before he sits. Once down, -see what I did there..?-you will notice his back is straight. He will occupy enough space around him. In other words, he dominates his territory. Totally. To fantastic effect.

Third, you will have noticed his eye contact. Confident, not glaring. He will look at you straight in the eyes.. and in some circumstances, for slightly longer than is necessary, for  maximum effect. It’s an art. And once you greet him… His handshake is certainly strong. On this handshake matter, and it’s intricacies, I can dedicate an entire topic on it, some time to come..

I’m sure it all feels like such a hassle, and it is-when starting. But it is absolutely worth the effort, trust me. In which way, you might ask?

Think about it if you are in the business of persuasion.. Salesman, marketers, lawyers, managers, teachers, speakers, preachers, politicians.. Looking to ask her out, on a networking event .. You get the drift.

What this does, is that it gives you that executive feel. That Kingly presence. That mysterious personality. In other words, it makes you look convincing, confident, capable even. And this is important because people buy your confidence. Before they know your product.So, there you have it. You can learn to be a King. So that when you walk into that interview room, when you pitch that idea, when you approach that lady, when you make that sales pitch.. The answer is yes, before you even open your mouth.

Next, I will be telling you what exactly to do when you finally do open your mouth…

John-Lewis Onkendi, Managing Partner - @BesttConsulting

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