The choices we make

Hello Diary,

I met an angel, I met the love of my life and to be honest I thought I had it all. I was complete, I needed nothing else, I gave him everything he asked for, and even the ones he didn’t ask for. I gave him everything I was and to be honest, I gave him everything I will ever be. My past, my present, my future. I gave him the power to hurt me deeply, I did so because I trusted the fact that he would be mine forever, at least that’s what I thought he said the first day he spoke to me. Looking back now, I believe I might have jumped into conclusions, I believe I was day dreaming because I remember clearly hearing the words, ‘’I will never leave you’’.  Those were magical words that made me lose my balance. I wasn’t sure where I was again, they gave me comfort, they gave me hope, and they gave me everything I ever desired. It’s like he knew me even before getting to know me. The way he looked at me was like he was aiming straight for my soul. I felt naked before his eyes but for the first time I felt free, if he had told me I could fly at that moment, I would have believed every word and jumped off a roof in an instant.

I found my soul mate, I found the missing piece of me, at least that’s what I believed until the day I received a call from Stella asking for forgiveness from me, saying she can’t hide the truth from me again. In that moment, I said a quick prayer in my heart asking the Lord to come immediately causing RAPTURE to occur, if not I would most definitely go to hell but I would make sure I do not go alone. Stella is a mutual friend with my boyfriend and I. Did he really think he could cheat on me forever and I wouldn’t find out? I asked him about it and he denied it causing a volcano to erupt within me but still I prayed for patience and the Lord surely did answer since He couldn’t bring rapture early. I broke things off with my boyfriend, hoping that someday he would come back and ask for forgiveness but instead he looked me in the eyes and said to me, ‘’what can you do?’’, what can I do? What can I do?? Really?

My name is Bimbo, everyone called me the quiet one, easy going and all, I never liked issues, most especially boyfriend issues. Bode is my boyfriend and today is the day I show him that the quiet ones are the ones you should fear the most. I would love to tell you where he is right now but then you would only call me a psychotic bitch, probably call the police and to be honest? That’s who I am and that’s what you should do. I hear voices telling me what to do, and I promise you Bode is going to die a slow but painful death. So painful he would be the one praying for rapture to come but it wouldn’t, because for nights I prayed that same prayer and it didn’t. Bode kept flaunting his relationship with Stella in my face. He had forgotten all I had to go through just for him. I am glad he has because I would gently and slowly remind him every day for the next 10 days until I finally decide what to do with him.

I need help, stop me if you can because if you don’t, body parts would appear daily till there’s nothing left of them both. Well now you have a clue where they are. They treated me like I didn’t matter and expect to get away with it?

Good night Diary.

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