As i sit here in this room, i see darkness around me though my eyes are open, my mind is blacked out with thoughts, questions lingering, why did you turn away from us never to look back?, With anger you choose a different path for your own interest, with no explanations, your heart that of a rock! You never cared about our feelings. Maybe we wronged you, i really don’t know but what kind of mistake did we do that couldn’t been forgivable?.
As it’s said no one choose where to be born! God did, but if asked i would choose you over and over, yeah! The unconditional love from a kid to their parent would describe this.... but why! You let our fears come true, fear of loosing you. Perhaps if at one time you could where our shoes you would be in position to understand what we are going through.
I come to think you have much anger over us, the unknown anger that puzzles us. No one is ever their to give me answers.
As a result we have fallen victim, we are never the same, our teenage and youth life have been consumed with the locust, we have not experienced happiness. Pain, anger, fear of the unknown is what we’ve lived with, we grieve it’s as if you were dead! No! You are alive but we grieve.. you choose them over us throwing away the years we shared together as a family.
You left and found another life, wife, kids, family, you left us not to care, we’ve seen it all from poor performance in school to sleeping on empty stomachs at home, you were not their to mentor encourage or help us financially, we survive by grace, fearing for tomorrow.
Anger feels me when i see your kids enjoying your love support and care, they luck nothing, you’ve seen them through school well, you cloth them, they don’t no hunger, perhaps to them it only happens on Tv.
We’ve never seen you smile, whenever you were home where you no longer go to, your appear if the is funeral! May GOD forbid, you never stepped a feet to our school to know how we performed, the 100 to 300 shillings you sent mum once in a decade has seen as experience hell, not forgetting the bricked house that we stay in that you left half way under construction decades when you are a senior constructor.
Your responsibility has been stepped up by our poor mother, mama i have seen you cry when you could not stand seeing us sleep on empty Stomachs, when you had nothing not even a coin to offer, the 100 shilling you were sent after weeks was like a drop in the ocean, many are times i feared for you life, thinking that you’ll consider suicide But No! Your love for us mama has seen you persevere.
You are a live, we don’t want to grieve you anymore, this empty gap needs to be filled.
Question is, will you ever come back!