I Have a Girl Crush

I am on a bus, heading home, sitting with the one who makes my blood boil. She looks outside through the window glass, I check my phone. She checks her phone, I look around the bus. I brace myself to speak, but words are concealed from my mind. I search the quarters and angles of my brain, but I am restrained by the energy of her presence. I wrap my hands around me, for coldness just attacked my heart.

She who sits besides me, I think she enchanted me. Otherwise, how can I explain the way I stutter whenever she talks to me unexpectedly? I gaze into those deep mysterious brown eyes with mascara above them, and I feel hypnotized with a smile plastered on my face. I look at those round rich lips with some lipstick or lip gloss on them, and oh, I feel petrified. Inside my head, I lift my hand to her parted lips, and run my right forefinger on the lower lip gently. I place my lips inside hers. Repeatedly, I pull hers in and she pushes mine out, we bond. I draw her body close to mine and wrap my arms around her, as I savor the sweetness of her soft flesh. How can I not stammer if my mind is in such fantasy?

Forget the lips and move to her smile. Wow! It’s like the world is filled with fields of white flowers. When those lips curve into a smile, I see those very white well set teeth, and her rosy cheekbones. Oh. I just wish I could fill that face with kisses, hold her close to feel the beating of her chest and caress that tender and slender bosom.

I walk down the beach on a Saturday morning; I see her coming from the other side with just simple cotton blue shorts and a large long sleeved black shirt. She is on the phone with a concerned facade. She says something with her hand in her dark black Afro hair with such force that looked like she was going to pull her hair out, but then she relaxes her hand and starts laughing, slowly at first then so hard, with her hand on her face. Tears fill her eyes as the laughter continues.

Of course, I’m not walking anymore. I stand frozen to the ground watching the scene before my eyes. I start to look for words again to correct the mistake I made the last time we rode in the same bus. I’m a few inches taller than she is, and she has a few pounds more than I weight. I really like her.

But, how the hell did this happen? How did I fall for almost a stranger whom I possibly have no connection with whatsoever? I guess this is one of those moments when a spot from nowhere attaches itself on the back of your heart. It grows slowly and before you know it, the spot becomes so big that the water you drink has no power to wash it off. So, you just live with that mark on your heart. And there she is. The one who symbolizes this mark that grew from the backside of my heart.

The feeling just runs inside my head a marathon. I can see the way the sun shines on her to make her skin look lighter, I can hear her melodic laugh mixed with the songs of the ocean, a few feet away from where I am standing I can smell her perfume that smells like a mix of daisies and lilies, then again I want to move closer and touch the light right side strands of her hair and yes I want to taste the her lips for real. I summon all the strength I can muster and I move to where she had decided to seat, on the beach sand doing whatever on her phone.

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