I am not as strong as I would like to be
I want to be free of you.
I don’t want to lie awake at night
Thinking about you.
I should have listened you know
You said it all with that confident smile
The one that comes from years of experience.
You understand this well you are the artist. Painting the blank canvass you knew…
I was the one who was blind, who underestimated the force of what was coming. And so for a minute I was unprepared.
Like a hurricane you came sweeping me off my feet, leaving me with no option but to be dazzled.
You pulled away every wall of defence,
You broke down the gates of my heart.
And walked right in leaving me without any defence.
I stood naked, stripped bare before you
And you knew. You urged me to let go
To cast all fears aside and take your gift.
Only it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted more than you had to give
I needed more than words
I wanted to be the only person you thought about besides your princess
When you talked about her I could feel the love flowing from you.
I knew you would defend her and alas for a second I wanted to be her.
Oh how I lay awake night after night restless, waiting, hoping
Regaled by your tales
I wanted to break your walls too
To tear your well crafted defences
I needed to make you feel a little
I had to see you restless, waiting too.
I wanted to push you to the Hilltop
I needed you to break to admit
If for a second that I wasn’t alone
That it wasn’t my imagination
That there was something
That we were like Romeo and Juliet (only not as crazy)
That this time the odds were against us
That time and chance was the very bridge that stood against us.
I imagined what it would be like
Looking into your face and smiling
Seeing the scars and learning them all
What I never said
What was never said was what did I feel?
It’s the same reason I still think about you.
This time I want nothing
Even if I see your face in others
Even though I measure others with the little I know about you.
There was a time I thought I could touch the scars and make them go
I can’t even do that now
I can’t even tell you the things that keep me awake at night.
It’s better this way for I am no Juliet and you are no Romeo.
We are not star crossed lovers
I am merely sweet
And you always will be cakes with a dash of Chocolate
I am ‘sookie’
You are ‘Alcide’
Inspired by J.C. “The man who’s all things Cholocatey”